Capture the flag
by aznillusion183
Summary: If Zoro and Sanji were to have a drinking game...part four is up!
1. Capture the Flag

Zoro ran up and down the dark streets, searching for _it_. The moonlight turned the walls and buildings into contrasting tones of black shadows and silver-washed light, and he looked from side to side for his target. He couldn't be sure whether he'd run down this street already or not, but even if he hadn't had the directional sense of a broken compass he wouldn't be able to tell because of the darkness.

A flash of gold caught his eye, and he looked up to see a waving golden pennant flapping lazily in the gentle spring breeze. It was perched atop a tall building, but the shining piece of cloth was more than visible enough to find once he'd seen it once. He leapt from the ground onto the roof of the first floor, and continued his giant leaps from floor to floor. His swords clattered against each other with each landing and his triple-pierce earrings tinkled with every jerk of his head. He looked up and saw the flag waving from a building two blocks away.

"Damnit!" How had he managed to move so far away? It had been directly above him! He moved quickly to reach the flag, and grabbed it from its roost before looking around at the panoramic view. He saw the ocean glimmering under the moonlight to the west, and started moving east. He then looked around and saw a church in the distance, its bells silenced until the next hour struck. Moving swiftly, he reached the church's bell tower and pulled a wrinkled green silk flag from his pocket. The shining light-green material was just as prominent as the golden flag had been.

Moving east again, he eventually found himself by the sea and the Sunny.

He ran swiftly on board and burst into the kitchen.

"Ha! Ero-cook, what's my time?" he demanded breathlessly. He clutched the golden flag in one hand and a stitch in his side in the other. "I must have set a new record, eh?"

Sanji lounged against the kitchen counter, holding a stopwatch. "Shut up, marimo, I'm looking. It took you twenty-two minutes and forty-three seconds. Not bad, but you probably got lost again, didn't you?"

Zoro growled, "Just go and get mine. Remember what happens to the loser, love-cook."

Sanji dashed out the door as Zoro started the clock.

Twenty minutes and five seconds later…

"Damn! How could you beat me? I set it further out than yours had been," Zoro cursed.

"Heh, shitty marimo, what do you expect? I'm not the one who runs east and goes west," Sanji leered, waving the green pennant in his hand. "Now come and accept your punishment like a good boy."

Zoro sighed as Sanji locked the kitchen door and covered the windows, being careful to check into the corners to make sure that Luffy hadn't fallen asleep in one of the cupboards.

"I'll be on bottom since I lost, but I swear that next time I'm going to beat you, crap cook. You're obviously the one who's supposed to be uke, anyway. Look at that silky golden hair, and your pale skin! Compared to me, who's the seme, with my tanned skin and macho…ness." Zoro groaned, holding his hands out. Sanji cuffed his hands together around the table leg, which had been bolted down to the floor.

"I swear, ero-cook, you have problems," Zoro grumbled. "Who has bondage fetishes anymore?"

Sanji grinned as he reached for the zipper on Zoro's pants. "You certainly seem to enjoy it."


	2. Treasure Hunt

The sun was creeping slowly over the rooftops, its long fingers reaching out to devour the last bits of darkness remaining from the night.

Zoro was in an utterly foul mood.

Perhaps that statement is a bit over exaggerated. After all, did he not just have steamy "interactions" with Sanji? Even if he did lose the last game of capture the flag, there was always tomorrow night, and the night after, until they departed for the next island. And there were plenty of ways to stay entertained while at sea.

Zoro grinned, his black temper beginning to fade away. He couldn't lose to that love cook. Sanji might have the advantage when it came to capture the flag (Zoro ruefully admitted—to himself—that he didn't exactly have the best internal compass) but Zoro would prevail once the ship picked up anchor. He had spent many days exploring every nook and cranny of the Sunny, and even if most of these hours were spent trying to find a peaceful napping spot, he was positive that he could navigate on the Sunny even better than the chef could. Sanji was cooped up in the kitchen all day, anyway, right?

"Everyone, the Log Post has set! Let's get ready to go," Nami called as she ran towards the ship. "I just spotted a Marine ship coming into harbor, so we better hurry before they see us!"

The Straw Hat Pirates began to hustle as last-minute supplies were put away and the sails were unfurled. Speed was of the essence. As Zoro lifted the anchor with a grunt, he smirked. His chance to dominate that ero-cook was coming sooner than he had anticipated.

--

Zoro leaned back on the couch, enjoying the sight of the sunset from the crow's nest. The day had been hectic, as every day aboard this particular pirate ship seemed to be when Marines were involved. The crew had managed to circumvent the notice of the Marines, but had been caught up by a group of headhunters looking for their enormous bounties. Zoro and Sanji had simply run across the grappling hook lines that the bounty hunters had thrown across, and wiped the group out without too much trouble.

Still, it was enough to make Zoro desire to take his nap all the more. He had missed his afternoon siesta because of those bounty hunters.

Yawning mightily, Zoro snoozed lightly until a sharp knock on the door of the crow's nest.

"Oy, marimo, you in there?" Sanji's voice was muffled through the thick wood.

Zoro snapped out of his stupor and stretched, looking out the window. The moon was beginning to rise.

"Heh, ready to play, ero-cook?" Zoro said as he opened the door to the crow's nest. Sanji climbed inside and sat on the couch and lit up a cigarette.

"Alright, you know the drill. Time to play treasure hunt. I've hidden my blue silk tie…somewhere on this ship. Go find it." Sanji clicked the stopwatch before Zoro could complain about the vagueness of his directions.

"Damnit…!"

Zoro leapt from the crow's nest and landed lightly on the grassy lawn. He looked around carefully and thought, _Okay, if I was a perverted chef then where would I hide my favorite tie?_ He immediately cancelled out the kitchen; that would be too obvious. Running around the ship, something suddenly clicked in his head. _Obviously, he would hide it where I would expect it to be, so I wouldn't look there, so…_ He ran to the kitchen, and began shuffling through the shelves. Looking through the refrigerator bins, he shuffled through the produce and roared in frustration. _How the hell am I supposed to find a dinky tie on this freaking ship?!_ He thought furiously.

"Naa, Zoro, whatcha doing?" Luffy walked over, munching something that smelled smoky and meaty. He had taken advantage of Sanji's absence to pilfer some food.

"I'm busy, Luffy, what do you want?" Zoro said in a strained voice. "Where's that tie? Augh!"

"Eh, do you mean this tie?" Luffy held up the very item that Zoro had been looking for the last half-hour. "I found it with the strings of sausage in the fridge."

Zoro grabbed it and embraced Luffy in a tight bear hug. "Thanks Luffy, I promise I'll buy you some meat after I repay Nami."

Luffy scoffed, "You might as well say that you're never gonna pay me back, 'cause you're always gonna be in debt to Nami. Duh!" He ran off chortling before Zoro could reap revenge for that sentence.

"Alright, time to hide my hakama somewhere…" Zoro muttered, running out of the kitchen.

--

"Wow, marimo, you actually found it? It only took you forty minutes and fifteen seconds," Sanji said sarcastically. "Are you really trying?"

"Shut up and go find my hakama before you start talking shit," Zoro snapped.

….

Approximately one hour later...

….

"….I'm going to kill you, you shitty bastard," Sanji growled as he climbed up the ladder to the crow's nest. Zoro grinned cheekily at him. "You hid it in Nami-swan's panty drawer! No man should be allowed to go in there! She almost _killed_ me!"

Zoro shrugged, "Who's the one who left their tie with the sausages? Are you ten years old or something, to use that kind of innuendo?"

Sanji glared, and snapped, "Well, what was my time?"

"Sixty-three minutes and thirty seconds. You know what that means."

Sanji sighed.

"Where are we going to do it?"

Zoro grinned as he shut the crow's nest door evocatively and deliberately rolled one of his heaviest weights on top of it. "We're going to do it in here," he said.

Sanji turned around and began to survey the small space. "Here?" he asked disdainfully. Before he could turn around, he felt two strong hands grasp his shoulders and force him to his knees. His button-down shirt was ripped off in a single motion that sent the ivory buttons flying, and his pants were receiving the same treatment. "Oy, marimo, that shirt was expensive, you know," Sanji began to protest.

Sanji felt himself get flipped over and was looking up at a triumphant Zoro, whose eyes gleamed evilly.

"You may be a bondage fetishist," Zoro drawled, "But I'm a sadist."

Fortunately, the rocking of the crow's nest was not too noticeable as the ship swayed in the waves. Unfortunately, Sanji's moans and Zoro's growls could not be masked in the silence of the night.


	3. Frustration

Black Leg Sanji was absolutely pissed off.

This state of mind was not particularly unusual for the chain-smoking chef. He seemed to snap back and forth between amorous happiness for his girls or ticked-off snappishness at the men of his crew—particularly a certain moss ball.

But this wasn't just a passing snide remark made by the lazy swordsman that was bugging him. It wasn't even aimed at the swordsman today. Rather, it was a culmination of events that threatened to break Sanji's well-being in half.

It had all started when he and Zoro had first begun playing their little games of capture-the-flag and hide-and-seek. The two of them had engaged in a violent love-hate relationship that teetered on a balance of rivalry and lust. Of course, there hadn't been a problem with THAT. Zoro had enough stamina to go for days at a time, and then some. The sex had been absolutely marvelous.

However, it's always when that unknown variable is thrown into the mix that things start to get messy.

Somehow, their idiotic captain had found out about their nightly games—not the erotic ones, just the ones preceding them. Luffy had seen Zoro searching all over the ship for Sanji's tie, and watched curiously as Sanji proceeded to tear the ship apart looking for Zoro's haramaki. Once the bored captain had found out that it was all part of a game, he wanted to play. Unfortunately, since Sanji and Zoro were still reluctant to go out in the open about their relationship, they had unsuccessfully tried to dissuade their captain.

"_Naaah, why can't I play too? That's not fair!" Luffy whined, stretching his lips and widening his eyes in a comical expression._

"_Luffy, it's because…er…part of the game is to go swimming, so you can't join because of your Devil Fruit," Zoro lied hastily, thinking furiously for a better excuse._

"_Yeah, and um…yeah," Sanji ended lamely. He hadn't really been able to come up with any reason whatsoever, without saying 'It's just foreplay.'_

Luffy, obviously, had been extremely unsatisfied with their answers.

---

So what did that mean?

It meant that whenever Sanji and Zoro tried to engage in their little games, something would inevitably interrupt them.

Such as in the kitchen…

"_Ready, shitty cook? Whoever shreds these cucumbers the fastest is the winner, right?" Zoro said eagerly, sharpening a pair of kitchen knives in one hand while sticking another knife's handle between his teeth._

"_Baka marimo, they have to be uniform in size too. You can't just slice them like a bunch of Marines, you know?"_

"_Yeah, yeah, whatever…"_

_They began, both with a mountain of vegetables and a set of knives. Slivers of the pale green vegetable flew into a giant bowl, where they would be pickled and preserved for later consumption. Zoro's hands were dexterous and his head swiveled rapidly as he moved through the pile of cucumbers, but the pair of knives in Sanji's hands moved just as surely and rapidly._

"_Done!" Zoro whooped gleefully, flicking a piece of cucumber off of his cheek and into the bowl._

"_Oi oi, that's not sanitary," Sanji said sourly, finishing the last few inches of his cucumbers. He sighed. "Ugh, okay, you win…"_

_Zoro had just begun to untie his belt when Luffy burst into the kitchen._

"_Aaaah, you guys are playing without me again! C'mon, I wanna join in!"_

That was just the first offense. There was another incident when they had been in the crow's nest…

_The two fighters were sweating profusely, their muscles straining as each one used their arms to keep their bodies aloft in handstand pushups. The room was filled with pots holding heated stones, creating a sauna effect that made the room unbearably hot._

"_Three thousand, five hundred…" Zoro sputtered, his elbows bending as he went up and down._

"…_and sixty-four," Sanji finished the number, shaking his head slightly to shake off the sweat that ran down his face. Both of them had stripped down to their boxers, trying to cope with the heat. After several more pushups, when Zoro shifted slightly to try and rub the sweat off of his hands, one hand slipped, slick with perspiration._

"_Shit!" He fell._

"_Ahaha, ha, ha," Sanji gasped, allowing his body to fall down less gracefully than under normal conditions. They both lay gasping in a heap, slick with sweat and sweltering. After a while, Sanji spoke up, "So, it's my win then, eh? Good thing we're already down to our briefs, because this heat is just making me hornier." Sanji had his hands on the waistband of Zoro's shorts when the door to the crow's nest popped up._

"_Meh, it's so hot in here, you guys. Are you stupid? It's summertime, too. Anyways…whatever you guys are doing, I wanna do it too!" Luffy clapped his hands eagerly, obviously pleased that he had been able to find them._

If these had been the only two times, then it would have been bearable. However, this happened nearly every night that Zoro and Sanji tried to engage in these activities.

"Damnit, even when we try to do it in the morning and at night he still finds us at both times," Zoro cursed, rubbing a calloused hand through his short-cropped hair.

Sanji rubbed his shoulders roughly, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, that shitty rubberman must have an animal instinct for it or something. But do you think that he really doesn't realize what we're trying to do?"

Zoro snorted, "Pfft, he's just a kid. He probably doesn't even know how to do it."

Suddenly, Sanji stuck his head out the door. They were sitting in the men's barracks, and everyone was in town. They Log Post would take a couple of days to set, and the crew was in town exploring the exotic wares that the locals had to offer them. Only a few hours previous, Usopp had run onto the ship laden with all sorts of strange powders and contraptions.

"Hey, Zoro…"

"Nnh?" Zoro grunted sleepily. He was in his hammock, already beginning to fall asleep.

"Everyone's out, so we have this whole ship to ourselves. Nami-san said not to expect them for a few hours." Sanji's curly eyebrow rose suggestively. "We haven't been able to do it for _weeks_. I'm getting a little desperate here."

Zoro looked up, and before Sanji could begin speaking again the swordsman had leapt onto him. Rough hands practically tore off the chef's belt and hastily unzipper the zipper, and Sanji unbuttoned his shirt before it was ripped off. A few seconds later Zoro's pants were thrown against the wall, and his shirt was tossed over the lamp. Sanji groaned in release as he felt Zoro's hands everywhere on his body, and his mouth all over the sensitive parts that the swordsman had taken care to find.

Suddenly, they heard a commotion out on deck.

"O-oi, Zoro, shouldn't we go and see what's going on? What if it's the Marines or something?" Sanji managed to say before his mouth was covered by Zoro's own hot lips.

"Ero-cook, you were just complaining that you were horny as hell and now you're talking about something as trivial as that? We can take care of it later," Zoro whispered, trailing his lips all along Sanji's pale neck.

"You're right."

Suddenly, the door burst open as the rest of the Mugiwara crew burst into the room.

"YOU GUYS, THE MARINES ARE HERE! ZORO, SANJI, LET'S GO KICK THEIR ASSES!" Luffy jumped into the room first, oblivious to the scene before him.

"H-hey, Luffy, maybe we should go out and deal with them ourselves. They're just small-fry, right?" Nami tried to push the pirates out of the room, blushing furiously. "Er, never mind us! Continue, continue…"

Robin chuckled, allowing her eyes to linger over the sight of the two men frozen on top of each other for a moment longer than necessary. Franky stuffed a fist in his mouth, trying not to laugh, while Usopp and Chopper were forcibly pulled from the room with their eyes wide and mouths gaping.

They all left, slamming the door shut. The room was deathly silent, and Sanji covered his face in mortification.

"I guess what they say is right…rubbers are the best contraceptive."


	4. If we were to have a drinking game

_Swish_. _Swish. Thunk. Swish…_

_Slap. Rubrubrub…Slap. Slap._

Zoro lay with his eyes closed on the couch in the dining room of the Thousand Sunny. He was quiet, listening to the sounds of the ero-cook making one of his delicious concoctions in the kitchen. He breathed in deeply…ah, the smell of some citrus fruit. Today's snack was going to be fruity, then. _Maybe he's making cocktails? That would be great…_ he thought to himself.

Zoro was tired. Even weeks after the fiasco of Luffy-and-everyone-seeing-us-get-ready-to-screw, he still hadn't been able to get laid. Sanji had adamantly refused to do it, since everyone else had seen them get ready to make some lovin'.

"_You idiot, does it make a difference if they know now? If anything, there should be MORE reason to do it since there's no reason to hide it!" Zoro shouted, slamming a fist on the table in frustration._

"_Oi, it's precisely because they know that we can't do it, you bastard! I can't subject the crew to knowing that…we're…" Sanji shook his head, and turned away. "Look, I'm really sorry. But I just can't."_

Zoro hadn't been very happy, to say the least. On the bright side, Sanji was a little more affectionate in every single way. That is, besides when it came to carnal matters.

_Thump, thump, thump. Clink. Clunk_. Zoro opened his and saw Sanji standing by the table with a row of glasses before him, waiting patiently.

"Awake? Good. I want you to try the first in my line of new Strawhat-themed beverages. This one is Nami's Mikan Mimosa. Go on, take a sip," Sanji said, pushing a bright orange-hued drink in front of the lounging man.

"Why am I the one testing your drinks? Not that I'm complaining about the extra booze, of course," Zoro grumbled, picking up the tall-fluted glass and taking a gulp. "Mm, sleep and grog. Great combo, there."

"Hey, don't just guzzle it, you marimo! You have to tell me what to fix, so taste it carefully!" Sanji snapped, going back into the kitchen with a tray of pitchers. "It's a damned good thing I made extra."

Zoro grinned, and then took another drink. "Normally I don't like all this fruity crap, but it's pretty good. The champagne has a nice zing to it…" He swished another sip around his mouth. "The alcohol's barely there, though. Why even bother putting it in?"

Sanji snorted. "If I put enough booze in there for you to like it then everyone else would be drunk with one sip. Next is Robin's Sangria. Red wine, slices of grapefruit, brandy, and a touch of sugar."

Zoro sipped the blood-red liquid in the deep wine glass and shuddered. "Next time, don't put any sugar. Brandy's always good. Oi, ero-cook, it feels weird drinking with someone watching. Pull up a chair and drink, would you?"

"Why do you think I'm having you drink all of this? I can't drink that much alcohol or I'll get drunk, you idiot," Sanji snapped, turning red. Nevertheless, he plopped down and poured himself a glass. He sipped the Sangria and nearly spat it back out. "You're right, I did put too much sugar. Alright, next is Luffy. It's a Piña Colada with slices of fresh pineapple. Is the coconut to pineapple juice ratio good?"

Zoro began to drink from the round glass filled with the creamy white cocktail, but stopped. "Hey cook…" he said, raising an eyebrow suggestively, "…want to play a game?"

Sanji sighed, "Look, if I've said it once, asshole, I've said it a million times—"

"Wait! Before you say no, just listen. It'll just be a drinking game. That's not too unusual on a pirate ship, right? Look." Zoro went to the intercom and announced, "I, Zoro, am going to have a drinking game with Sanji. Unless you want us to go Drunken Fist on your asses, then stay out." He sat back down and grinned. "See? All good. If someone does come in, I have an excuse to kick them out."

"Jeez, you're so persistent," Sanji said, not unkindly. "Fine, want to play? Bring it on, then."

They drank, and drank, and drank.

After the Piña Colada, there was Usopp's Spicy Mojito with lime and chili pepper on crushed ice; Chopper's Virgin Margherita, with no alcohol for the little reindeer; Franky's Long Island Ice Tea with cola, vodka, gin, and lemon juice; Brooke's black martini with blackberries and black vodka; Sanji's own Love Kamikaze. Finally, they were at Zoro's own themed beverage: the Marimo Lime Caipiroska. They continued to pour glass after glass for each other. At first they were neat about it, with only a drop or two spilling over the side. Eventually, though, Sanji's hands were unsteady enough that more liquid went onto the countertop than into the cup.

At this point, Sanji was completely hammered. He didn't even register that Zoro had sidled up beside him and kept plying him with more alcohol. Sanji simply went with the flow and flung an arm around Zoro's shoulders, giggling about how nice it was to quench one's thirst on a hot day.

"These drinksh suuure are r'freshing," Sanji slurred with a hiccup. "Man, it'sh too hot, you know?" He leapt onto the table, brandishing a glass of vodka in one hand and grabbing his thrusting crotch with another. His speech was less slurred at this point, but he was by no means any less inebriated. "'Ey, marimo, does this turn you on?" He bent over, putting the glass in his hand on the table before coming up slowly and seductively. He pulled the tie loose from around his neck and waved it slowly like a lasso before tossing it over Zoro's head. The shirt and belt followed in a gyrating strip tease all over the table in front of Zoro's face.

"Ero-cook, what the hell are you doing?" Zoro demanded, putting a hand to his nose from which a nosebleed had spurted. "Damn, that is pretty sexy though…"

Sanji jumped lightly from the table, stalking slowly around Zoro before dropping to his knees and rising slowly, showing off his flexibility.

Off came the pants.

Sanji pulled Zoro close to him with one hand, moving into his lap.

"Where did you learn to give a lap dance like this?" Zoro groaned, clutching the arms of the chair tightly. He was _this close_ to losing whatever little control he had left.

Suddenly, Sanji began to grind into Zoro's hips…and was consequently picked up and promptly placed on the table. Sanji lay there limply (well, perhaps not COMPLETELY limp, if you get what I mean) and looked up at Zoro.

"Looks like I won our little drinking game," Zoro whispered with a sly grin. "Is that right?"

Sanji beamed, waving a drunken hand. "Go on, go on, let's see what you've got, eh?"

---

Sanji woke up, his head throbbing and his body aching. "What the hell…?" he moaned, clutching his head. He looked around and saw a mess of tipped glasses, spilled drinks, and torn clothing.

Crap. Torn clothing.

He looked down and saw Zoro snoring loudly on top of his chest, his mouth hanging slightly open. Even though the marimo was drooling on him, it was still kind of cute and sexy at the same time. Still, Zoro had to pay.

"Hey, shithead, wake up," Sanji growled, sticking a finger in Zoro's mouth and pulling Zoro's face up like a fish on a hook. "Rise and shine, you bastard."

Zoro opened one eye balefully. "You always have to ruin a good thing by waking me up, don't you? What is it now?"

Sanji glared at him, a tick forming on his forehead. "What the hell is this, huh?"

Zoro looked at him like he was an idiot. "Um, I think it's called…the post-sex scene? Sex, screwing, making love, whatever you want to call it."

"I can't believe it," Sanji said in a miffed tone. "You got me drunk just to get in my pants. That's so creepy."


End file.
